(un)Wholesome Want, (im)Pure Desire
by Total Absolutism
Summary: Worm/W40k crossover. Taylor Hebert IS Sane and Reasonable Slaanesh.
1. The Birth of Taylornesh

Welcome to a story that got nuked from Spacebattles. All that says to me is, "Needs more Slaanesh".

Worm/40k: Taylor Hebert IS **Sane** and _Reasonable_ Slaanesh.

* * *

><p>The multiverse is big. Incredibly, infinitely, impossibly big. So large, in fact, that million to one chances have a habit of cropping up nine times out of ten. It makes no sense whatsoever, yet there it is. The odds that a particular Shard of a particular Crystal Space Whale would land in this particular brain in this particular place and then go on to destroy its progenitor? Infinitesimally minuscule.<p>

There were other odds, though. Like the chance that there would be a Warp Storm in just the right place during the birth of a fledgeling god, still little 'g' for now, spawned by the incredible excesses of a powerfully psychic spacefaring could fling the spirit of said fledgeling god at a certain angle. One a few degrees to the north-widdershins of next Tuesday.

Like the chance that it would arrive in another place, untouched by the Warp but rich in potential, just as a particular Shard was awakening. That it might then feel the delicious, delightful, intoxicating suffering of that individual like a beacon of blood bursting in the ocean might be felt by a shark. Which would then, like lightning, snap to the source. Because, at that one, exact moment, that precise instant, this individual was in more agony than anyone else in the world.

Like a moth to the flame.

* * *

><p>She cried out as they pushed her in. Nobody helped her. The sensations made her skin crawl as she struggled impotently. There were bugs everywhere. Crawling on her, under her clothes, over her face, in her hair, wiggling their way through the mess and filth that was caked on her.<p>

A mass of crusted and dried blood, of almost fresh blood, of rotting blood, of decay and mess and disgust that surrounded her. Her body was painfully twisted in the too-small space that confined her. Something in her pant leg was biting her and it felt so-

_-good-_

-that she couldn't think straight. There was a tingle in her chest as her heart began to beat faster with ever surge of-

_-pleasure-_

-and it felt like she was suddenly being shocked by something. Her cries for help grew more frantic as unfamiliar feelings began to overwhelm her but those who'd pretended it hadn't been happening even as it happened weren't likely to help now. There was a sharp bite of-

_-ecstasy-_

-as she cut herself on something. Her mind rebelled.

_darkness_

_infinite space_

_broiling chaos_

_colours beyond comprehension_

_suffering beyond measure_

_release beyond compare_

_endless war_

_darkness_

_Destinati-_

_**MINE**_

_this is my pleasure _

___this is your pain_

_soon you shall learn_

_they are one and the same_

_this is my blessing_

_this is your curse_

_indulge or restrain_

_it will only get worse_

_this is my message_

_this is your choice_

_surrender to me_

_and speak with my voice_

_suffer in silence_

_or wallow in sin_

_accept me at once_

_and we shall begin_

* * *

><p>The students of Winslow, including the inordinately amused trio, turned to the locker when they heard a girl scream. One that wasn't Taylor Hebert. Insects were surging out of the gaps in the sides and the little grills, fleeing rapidly from the contents. A cold wind started to blow moments later. It was flowing out of the locker.<p>

A sickly sweet scent was carried along with it. It was intoxicating and revolting at the same time, almost like rotting fruit yet so much more intense. Over the next minute it grew in intensity as the bugs continued to flee until, quite suddenly, it stopped. Everyone had been frozen in place by an intense sensation of foreboding. Someone made a motion to step over to the locker when the door buckled.

Fortunately for them, they had the good sense to step out of the way in time. The door exploded away from the door a moment later with enough force that it was embedded in the opposite wall. What stepped out of it could have once been Taylor. It had come from where she had been, certainly, and was coated in a disgusting mess of indescribable slime.

However, there were a few issues. For one thing, Taylor probably wouldn't have had that expression of rapturous ecstasy. Nor was she nearly so... curvy. So much so, in fact, that despite her grimy and putrescent state many of the boys, and a decent proportion of the girls, observing her found themselves suddenly a little more uncomfortable in the pants region.

Also, Taylor probably wouldn't have had a corona of black and pink fire that faded to purple in-between outlining her. Nor would her clothes be torn so... suggestively. In fact, Taylor didn't look like a grown woman. This person did. The girl breathed deeply, causing one particularly skinny young man to faint on the spot and several more constriction-related issues all around her. Then she turned her head.

She was staring at Emma.

* * *

><p>Taylor knew a lot about parahumans. Never had she imagined she'd be one. Or that it would feel like this. Every sensation was felt as if she'd never felt it before. The pain of the cuts and lacerations on her body caused electric shivers down her spine every time she adjusted her stance while the dank coating of filth slowly dripping and falling from her was just... delightful.<p>

No sensation was bad. Every touch was infinite ecstasy. Power flooded her body and that was the most delightful feeling of them all. It was like being drunk. Or so she imagined. The very first thing she did was walk up to a senior girl in her size-Anna-and reach out to her. She was so scared... like a little rabbit facing down a hungry wolf. Silly little rabbit. There would be no biting here. Unless she wanted to be bitten?

Maybe later, supplied the knowledge that flowed into her with a touch. No sooner than the third date. Psh. "Take your pants off and give them to me." The voice was impossible to resist. It was musical and delightful and so pleasing to the ears. Before she even realized what she was doing Anna was standing there in her underwear and the girl who might be Taylor had taken her own off in favour of the clean pair.

Another student, this time a boy. "Your shirt. It's mine." Silently, staring, he handed it over. She changed immediately. Now she had clean clothes. There was something else, though. Oh, right. The mess. It felt good on her skin, but she did suppose that she should clean it up. For some reason.

The black fire surged forth and burned away all remaining impurities. It also applied adjustments. The pants tightened and reshaped to hug her form. Her shirt had been a man's and now it wasn't. It occurred to her that she could have done that instead being gifted these clothes. Oh well.

"What the fuck, Hebert!"

Aha? Someone had broken the spell. Not that it had been a spell. Or had it? Now that she thought about it for a moment, well, it might be. There was certainly enough power crackling through her right now. She turned, in a casual fashion, to look at the speaker. Sophia Hess. Unimportant. Ignore.

Emma, though. Walk over to her, loom over her, lean in and smirk at her. "Hello, Emmy. What do you think? Do I look good, or do I look good? Oh, the word you're looking for is 'yes'." The girl, instead, swallowed hard and started up at her former friend's face. It was recognizably her. All of it. Just... grown out, and up, and smoothed, and perfected. She'd kept the glasses.

They looked hot on her. Obviously.

Let's see, let's see. The powers she was reaching for were used to a slightly different connection. They were looking for something that wasn't there, expecting an abstract and finding something concrete. However, the energy also found something else in her head and touched it. The other power exploded into life. For a moment, Taylor was aware of all the insects in a massive radius around her.

But she didn't care about bugs. Her eyes burned with dark fire as the power surged inside her brain. Rewrite that. No need to keep the control aspect. The sensory input though, oh yes, that would just be rapturous. With the understanding gleaned from gutting and reshaping the excess passenger her power knew what to do now. She scanned Emma's mind. Her memories. Tut-tut, old friend, naughty naughty.

"T-taylor? I-is that-" The angrier one reached for her and she didn't even bother to break eye contact. Seeing herself from the eyes of others was quite, quite nice on so many levels. Feeling their responses, their reactions, the input from their apparently inferior senses was still delicious. All Taylor had to to was reach to the side and push.

Not with her arms, of course. With her mind. Sophia slammed into the wall. That was probably too much. She slipped her arms underneath Emma's and curled them back up to rest on either side of her face. The little mouse looked so scared. Felt so scared. It was delicious. Intoxicating.

"There there, pet, I forgive you. I see it all. Naughty little pet. You ought to have come to me. I would have helped you. Always. No need to listen to the little baby vulture when it screeches for attention." Emma was terrified. Of her. Part of Taylor was telling her that she should be upset about that. The rest of it was just basking in it.

Ooh? New people, entering the edge of her range. Different people. Interesting ones. Heroes. "Ah, it seems I have to go and turn myself in for a little bit, Emmy. I'll be back for you later, I promise." Although in what sense, exactly, she had yet to decide. A kiss on the forehead to say goodbye and she walked towards the wall. Going around would be a hassle. Besides, using her powers felt so, so good.

The wall broke apart and crumbled before her in a surge of will and dark flames. Physics had bent and twisted under her watchful gaze and it had torn its own molecular bonds apart from the inside. Walking calmly through the classroom, ignoring the stares of those inside and the rising screams of terror from behind her, Taylor reached the window.

It was open. She didn't care. It went as well, becoming a hole that allowed her to step out into open air. It was a decent drop down. She landed perfectly. The heroes were freaking out a bit, so she lifted her hands with a faint smirk. So much... sensation. Delicious.

* * *

><p>They'd gotten the notice from Shadow Stalker. New cape, literally just triggered, and maybe in danger of going psycho on everyone. As Sophia had put it. The Protectorate members responding had not, however, expected her to walk out of a second floor window after disintegrating it and then trot over to them with her hands up.<p>

Nor had they quite expected her to start hyperventilating and pass out.

For her part, Taylor Hebert hadn't expected to ever wake up handcuffed to a hospital bed with a massive hangover. Especially not before her twenty-first birthday. And absolutely nobody in the hospital had expected her shriek of total humiliation as she remembered everything she'd done.

The young, hungry spirit of Slaanesh that was currently finishing its digestion of the former 'Queen' Administrator Shard was still amused by it all, though.


	2. Shake Señora

I don't own Harry Bellafonte. Can you imagine?

* * *

><p>"Um... Director?" PRT Director of Brockton Bay, Emily Piggot, looked up and sighed. She had been in the middle of a meeting with Armsmaster, Collin Wallis, before the interruption by one of the, apparently, more junior staff. His debriefing had so far proved quite educational, consisting as it did of the testimonies of the witnesses to that morning's absolute fiasco.<p>

"Yes? If you interrupted us, I assume this must be important." Colin felt a little sorry for the junior officer as he wilted under the admittedly impressive stare of Director Piggot. She was a formidable woman at the best of times and today she was absolutely livid. A cape who was, by all accounts, a high-powered Master at the very least and probably a low-to-mid Striker, Blaster or Shaker to boot, they weren't quite sure which, had triggered. In a rather, ah, explicit fashion.

Apparently one of the boys had managed to keep enough of his head, or just not quite enough perhaps, to video the entire thing and upload it to YouTube. Under the title, "Capes Gone Wild", no less. It had exploded to several million views since the latest reupload and had been taken down close to a dozen times, seemingly for good at this point, due to the fact that she, despite her appearance, was only fifteen.

She'd already had to threaten blanket child pornography charges against any and all news outlets in the Bay on the off chance that they might dare to try and show it. The girl's father was also currently in one of the holding cells. Apparently he'd gotten into a minor altercation when the video was released, come here, and beaten a PRT officer half to death for saying something extremely ill-advised about his underaged daughter.

Piggot thought it was a PRT nightmare, although she'd heard through the grapevine that Glenn Chambers had squealed like a 'Japanese schoolgirl' and sequestered himself in his office upon finding out what had happened. That didn't bode well for anyone. She was already trying to figure out a way to ensure the two never met. Ever.

"W-well, see, um... there's a bit of a problem?" That got an actual brow quirk out of Piggot. A dangerous, deadly brow-quirking of doom that heralded absolute career suicide for anyone who brought her further bad news right now. "Ah... um... you see... the girl kind of woke up... a-and..." The Director turned white as a sheet as Armsmaster was already starting for the door.

"She got away?" That poor, poor security officer flinched under the sudden vocal barrage she levelled at him. It really wasn't fair.

"U-um... no, ma'am. She's throwing a party, ma'am."

Colin stumbled and slammed directly into the door frame while Emily Piggot stared blankly into the empty space slightly to the right of the junior officer's ear.

"what"

* * *

><p>Waking up had been... tricky. First, she'd felt embarrassed. Then she'd realized that she didn't actually feel embarrassed. Even about the bit where she'd changed her shirt in front of literally the whole school. A brief flicker through her sensory-sense told her that it had apparently gone viral. That should probably concern her.<p>

But it didn't. Instead she was focusing on the delightful sensation of cool metal against her wrist, the risqué thrill of being being, the sheer and luxurious softness of the hospital bed and the delicious excess of lust in the air. Which also probably ought to concern her. Instead she just felt... good. Really good.

Taylor knew exactly what she looked like now. Even so, looking down, she decided to reassess. A quick whistle was all that was needed to draw in a nervous guard, clutching his suppression baton like a security blanket. For the moment she ignored him in favour of turning this way and that while checking herself out through his eyes.

"Hm... What do you think? I'll keep the hair, it looks good long, but I think I might straighten it. Or maybe braid it?" On closer inspection through the increasingly panicked man's eyes she noticed something. She was growing a bit taller, hair changing colour. Ah... interesting.

"Do you prefer blondes, by any chance?" That completely froze the man. He really wasn't expecting... that. Although he wasn't sure what he was expecting. Just that, if he wasn't careful, he would be on a one way trip to the Special Hell. And not for talking at the theatre. As such, he wasn't touching that with a twenty foot pole.

"Uhhh... they told us you were fifteen, so I am not going to answer that miss." Taylor frowned for a moment and then shrugged. She glanced over at her clothes, folded neatly on the bedside table, and then looked back at her hospital gown. Not very flattering.

"You might as well go, then. Close the curtains. Do make sure nobody disturbs me while I'm getting dressed?" Just a little bit of her power rolled into it, in the pinkish spectrum, to make it practically an order. He accepted the out gratefully while she got changed. Although he probably should have taken notice of her being handcuffed to the bed.

Then again, she didn't take notice of it. It also gave her time to observe herself. Really, she felt that she looked pretty much the same as before. Maybe a little more filled out, but nothing really special. As she finished buttoning up her slightly-stolen shirt she mused on that a bit more.

In fact... overall, she wasn't all that much different from what she'd been. Interesting. Just a little more full, and fit longer hair and cleaner skin. Healthier, in other words. But to him she'd appeared to grow a bit older, and blonder, and... oh, of course! She looked different to people based on their-

_-desire-_

-woah. Okay. That wasn't-

_-our-_

-thought gah! There it was again! There was something else messing with her-their-HER train of thought. Her. She was a her-

_-well technically speaking-_

-wait what? There was a moment of panic as Taylor checked inside her

_-their-_

underwear. Then a moment of gender confusion. Followed by a surge of power and humiliation. That was awkward. Really awkward. Although, all things considered, it might be useful la-wait, she was FIFTEEN. There could be uses for it still, she supposed, but only if she went whole-hog on the shapeshifting. No, her

_-their-_

-mind was NOT going there. Period. Full stop.

A sullen silence in her head seemed to confirm that. For now. Still, Taylor wondered what was going on. This didn't sound like anything she'd normally heard about after a trigger. Did Parahumans really change their personalities that much?

_silly pet_

_you are so much more than them_

_look at the other little monkeys running around_

_so cute~_

_with their adorable little 'classifications' that they tried to put him (her) (them) in_

_as if they could hope to define that which was_

**_CHAOS_**

Ow. Okay, ow, that had hurt a lot more than she'd expected. Not in the good way that she was coming to enjoy. It had come with a flash of knowledge. About herself, who she was, what she could do. Mostly about what was sitting in her head, flooding her body with twisted energies and ready to bring her unto glorious ascension so that she could unite the world in glorious, blissful, rapturous, hedonistic, unendi-

**NO!**

_no?_

No!

_you cannot refuse this_

Just did. No again! There, that was easy.

_but-_

Refuse.

_you-_

Re-fuse. Refuse. No. Uh-uh. Negative. Not gonna happen. Sure, there might be room for a few bits of that vision there in this world. But some of it? Ugh. Disgusting. If Taylor's physical responses to pretty much everything didn't apparently trigger to 'pleasure' by default, indirectly or otherwise, she might have thrown up.

_but we are the prince(ess) of passion and pleasure!_

_the dark lord (lady) (hard to say really) of decadence and ecstasy!_

_no mortal could de-_

Yeah, that might be true. Except according to the infodump that had just been fed her, everyone in this realm was completely immune to ninety-nine of the other other guy, or girl's, powers. Especially the more fun ones. While she didn't quite agree philosophically, apparently none of them had souls in the sense that the entity quite understood. So its powers only worked when filtered through, let's see, her.

Oh, and what do you know, she didn't have a soul for it to corrupt or control either! Fancy that.

_... you are playing a dangerous game, mortal..._

Sounded about right to her. Besides, the entity _(Slaanesh)_ loved it.

_shut up_

Loved it.

_do not_

Loved it. They wanted new, and different. Change and excitement. All this was new. Taylor was the key to it. She could cut it off from all that sensation easy. But for all its drive and incredible desire and, indeed, knowledge it appeared that Slaanesh was, well, kind of stupid. Really stupid. Its idea of a good time was cutting itself and having sex all at once.

Excess didn't need to be nearly as pointless as it made it. Pleasure wasn't necessarily sexual.

But apparently Taylor was now a Chaos Goddess. The lack of an actual Warp in this realm limited her wide-scale abilities. Unlike the entity residing in her head she didn't seem capable of, for example, teleporting an entire planet or reshaping the wills and minds of everyone on it. But she did have a massive range of what Slaanesh thought of as psyker abilities. No more than party tricks, to it, but with a limitless flow of Warp energy to pour into it, no soul to corrupt and apparently infinite processing and multitasking capability.

In short, no backlash and no need to reload. Taylor couldn't say for sure that she could solo this God-Emperor guy that Slaanesh remembered. But, on the other hand, she probably wouldn't need to. Anyone who came near her could be hers in mere moments.

Now... what was the best way to convince the PRT and Protectorate she wasn't a threat? Slaanesh had suggestions.

She ignored almost all of them.

* * *

><p>Shake, shake, shake señora~ Shake your body line-a~<p>

_To start; a funky calypso beat._

Shake, shake, shake, señora~ Shake it all the time-a~

_Then add a dozen pounding feet._

Work, work, work señora~ Work your body line-a~

_To follow up; twelve kegs of rum._

Work, work, work, señora~ Work it all the time-a~

_And the PRT can have some fun._

* * *

><p>When Armsmaster entered he was initially concerned he had walked into a powerful Shaker effect. Something similar to, perhaps, the work of the cape Labyrinth employed by Faultline. A jail break? Alternatively, there must be some powerful Master or Stranger effect applied to the area. His final option was that someone had laced his coffee with LSD.<p>

According to his instruments, none of these theories were correct. Colin attempted to reconcile that to what he saw in front of him, namely a sandy-floored room filled with coconut trees, about half the PRT officers in the building in shorts and floral shirts, a full bar serving what appeared to be large amounts of banana rum in coconuts with pretty paper umbrellas, and Gallant standing on a gurney and singing karaoke.

Then he saw that Glory Girl was present, in a coconut bikini and doing a provocative dance to the song at which point he wisely decided that the best option right now was to disengage his helmet and get a damn drink. Or five. Which was fortunate, because if he'd turned his head even remotely to the right he would've seen Panacea being coaxed into a red-crossed string bikini by Taylor and probably passed out from sheer 'bwuh'.

The rest of the wards were present and apparently having a ball. Curiously enough, the unmanned bar seemed to only have drinks available to patrons who were 'of age'. Despite Dennis' and Chris' best efforts it had yet to give them anything but non-alcoholic cocktails. They'd certainly tried. Apparently several walls had been levelled somehow, along with the roof, to accommodate the party. As well as the sand.

He'd tried to ask Aegis about it, given that the reliable young man was sitting at the bar too and enjoying a fruity beverage, but he'd just shrugged and explained he was rolling with it. Most of the Wards were here, actually. Vista was off playing some of the sober adults, and kids, in beach volleyball. She was winning. Browbeat was off to one side and was apparently startled that people, several attractive lady PRT officers no less, were paying attention to him.

Colin started on his second drink.

* * *

><p>After Armsmaster went to investigate, and didn't return, Piggot had called in the rest of New Wave and informed them that their daughters, or nieces, might be trapped against their will by a powerful Master. They had arrived, entered the building, and not reported back. Then she'd called Dragon, who'd sent a supersonic suit over in short order. It arrived, scanned the area, and entered.<p>

Nothing.

Completely livid, she retrieved a sidearm and went down herself. It mightn't do much good, but it made her feel better. Things were borked enough as it was if the person had Panacea on their side. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she'd damn well shoot first and ask questions later.

Of course, she hadn't expected to be ambush-hugged as soon as the damn elevator doors opened and dragged into the room by a gleeful young girl with long, braided brown hair and glowing pink eyes. Nor had she expected the entirety of her department to be gleefully partying. "Emily! Glad you made it! Oh, but we can't have you looking like that now can we?"

A hand plunged into her abdomen. Literally into. She could feel it shifting around inside of her, grasping and squeezing. Piggot tried to lift her weapon but found it suddenly yanked away by-Colin? It really was a Master situation.

"Director Piggot, recognition codes Alpha-Kilo-Five-Seven-One and Roger-Charlie-Two-Four-Eight." The first was the lower-level encryption code, one that would normally designate basic Master contamination as the personnel were trained to give it up easily. However the latter would indicate deep-level Master contamination. Of course, the correct option was what Armsmaster had just done; both in concert.

The girl removed her hand and, with it, a massive, bulbous ball of fat that condensed into a tiny sphere that she apparently absorbed. A big, shiny mirror was whipped out of-of somewhere and she found herself looking into the past. Emily Piggot, pre-Ellisburg. With a bit of graying, some weathering in the face here and there. How-...

"Your kidneys were way too finicky to bother with fixing so I just took 'em out along with most of the fat and grew you a new set! Straightened up your spine, resolved a few extra issues, converted some of the fat into muscle tissue based on your memories, and bada-bing, bada-boom! All better~"

That... was... she'd never... wanted... but...

Emily was in just a bit of shock. Apparently the girl, Taylor as she called herself, had the perfect solution.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the perfect solution had been a lot of drinks with crazy sounding name and an awful amount of dancing. It turned out that Velocity, no, Robin, was quite good at that. Emily had woken up leaning against a wall, with him leaning on her side and still sleeping, with a splitting headache. When the brown-haired girl had offered her a drink she took it automatically. Her reaction afterwards was a little understandable.<p>

"... what. You. That. Hangover cure?" The girl nodded, grinning at the absolutely flummoxed expression on the woman's face. The lack of lingering mental contamination, no particular predisposition towards the being in front of her, helped with that. In fact, her existing prejudices and so on were still intact. Even if, glancing down at Robin and remembering the way they'd spun around to the beat, she was starting to re-evaluate some of those.

Looking around for a moment, Piggot first took stock of the room. It was... in disarray. At least the sand was gone. The beds had been stripped down for their bedding so everyone had a place to sleep, generally on the floor. She could see the New Wave couples there, and Glory Girl was sleeping in Gallant's arms while she cradled her sister's head in her lap. Dennis and Chris had fallen asleep in a similar position to her and Robin. Well. That would be funny when they awoke.

Colin was... huh. He had a woman sleeping in his lap with an expression somewhere between terror and awe. The Director was fairly sure she'd seen the face before somewhere... was that... okay then. So, somehow, the party had managed to not only get Dragon to actually come in person, but also extracted her from her suit? That was... unexpected. This might even be the first time anyone had met the planet's greatest Tinker in person. She was distracted by the party-organizer gurney-surfing over to her.

"Soooo... I'm not joining the Wards. No offence, but any sort of, ah, restrictions on me kinda mess with what I do. In ways it's way too difficult to understand. For me, too, so don't think that's an insult. But I do plan on helping out. Like, a lot. Maybe even changing the world for the better." That was... disconcerting to Piggot. She sat up, glaring at the girl.

"What you did was-"

"Irresponsible, I know. But you can consider it your punishment, and payment, for me not taking you to court and making you all my bitch. Part of me really thinks I should have." That brought Emily up cold for a moment.

"What?"

"Yeah, Sophia Hess? I know who she is. You should probably rate me a full on Eidolon-tier Trump Ten, by the way. I can remotely access the senses of anyone in a three block radius and process all of that input simultaneously. With close physical contact I can view memories. Oh, and I can transmit my own emotional state on to others. That was the party. I just made everyone feel how I felt, and pretty much every sensation fills me with extreme euphoria. Plus I just get a massive amount of powers that I can use... basically willy-nilly."

Well, that just blew all hope of any operational security out of the water. Plus they'd have to change the passwords. All of them. Forever. Although now the girl knew everything she did.

"So, yeah, I could make a great case in court for Shadow Stalker trying to kill me. And I can share memories. Like so."

Piggot threw up seconds later as she experienced, in the blink of an eye, everything that Sophia Hess and her associates had ever done to the girl-Taylor _(Slaanesh)_. She felt sick. Also furious.

"But don't do anything to them, please. I'm going to take Emma back because she's mine and Sophia's going to shit her pants when she realizes what I've become. By the way, my cape name _(name!)_ is, ah, Slaanesh. It means, um, 'Lord of Joy', I guess, would be an accurateish translation. So, uh, yeah."

More thinking. Cogs turning. She really wanted a-Slaanesh was offering her a drink. Uh... "I can also sense your desires. What people want, I know. Please take it. Helping people makes me feel good." Gingerly, Emily took the drink from her and sipped it. Light, sweet, only vaguely alcoholic. Not enough to impair brain function. Yet.

"... tell us everything you can do, first, and then I'll think about not giving you a Birdcage injunction."

That made the girl wince. Just a little. Then she took a deep breath and sat down, manifesting a notepad and pen out of thin air. No, calling them from Piggot's office? Along with a laptop, as an option, and a voice recorder.

"Um... that will probably take a bit too long. How about I just tell you the stuff most relevant to you and slash or dangerous and leave the minutiae of my abilities out of it?"

Emily thought about it for a bit, and then nodded. So long as the girl tagged the important parts.

"So, I can open portals... probably anywhere on the planet. Not sure how many at once, might be just one, but they're about... sixteen point four feet per side. Not sure why it's that exact. I can kinda warp time in an area. By the way, I think I might be able to free Gray Boy's vic... tims..."

Piggot was recording. Every conscious Cape was listening in and any time one woke up they got a drink from... somewhere. Some of which were hangover cures. That one statement in particular had literally everyone curious and, apparently, her a little self-conscious.

"I can push my own emotions on to people. That's why you're all calm and a little happy right now, as I said."

That made Emily frown.

"Could you not do that to me, please?" Slaanesh shook her head.

"I'm leaving you out already. S-since it's possible to notice if, um, I do things like that if you are expecting to feel a certain way. Also, I think that Gallant might be getting a minor high from being around me?"

Everyone except the girl looked to him as he sat staring into space with wide eyes and occasionally giggling. As Kid Win and Clockblocker, practically snuggling, woke up she pulled a cellphone out of her cleavage, casually snapped a picture of them before distracting the younger of the two by continuing.

"I'm a Tinker-" That made Kid Win slam his hands on the ground; startling Clockblocker into full awareness and also falling away from his friend to land heavily on the floor. A drink was supplied.

"I call bullshit! What the hell kind of tech can you make?" The brown-haired girl played with her braids, Piggot noting that most of the girls in the room including herself had similar ones, and looked down.

"Yes." There was a long pause as they stared at her, the eyes of various Tinkers in the room slowly widening in shock and outrage. "The general, ah, theme is just being super sturdy. Possibly to the point of self... repair?" Kid Win was grinding his teeth as his memories of all the delicate and easy to break components he'd lost over the years surfaced.

"By the way, could you maybe give me a cell phone and text me when the Slaughterhouse Nine next show up? I was planning on portalling to them and killing them all."

A long pause as she looked up.

"Was it something I said? I mean... they're all evil... and they have a big bounty on their head... and I could use the money to fund my plans to spread my new religion..."

"You-... what? That's... what? I... I..."

Sudden silence.

"Ma'am?"

Continued silence.

"D-director?" Armsmaster moved up and checked her pulse.

"It's okay, Slaanesh. I think she just fainted from a combination of shock and sheer excess glee. What's this about a religion?"

Taylor _(Slaanesh)_ looked up at him, tilting her head a little. Then she gestured to the party around them.

"Basically? That. I want to spread this. Everywhere. I suppose you could call it less of a religion and more of a... lifestyle. Happiness. Absolute happiness, for everyone everywhere."

There was a yet another stunned silence in the wake of that pronouncement.

"... soooooo... y'all do realize your boss is unconscious and there's still an infinite free bar over there, right?"

And then she had to do some rapid portal-hopping to save the Wards from the subsequent stampede.


	3. (in)Sane and (un)Reasonable

This used to be chapter four. I fixed that.

* * *

><p>(in)Sane and (un)Reasonable<p>

One of the problems with hosting Slaanesh was, as Taylor had discovered, its sense of time. Or lack thereof. To a Chaos God(dess), every moment from the present back to its arrival in her skull was as one moment. So, every day, she had to take a few minutes to sit down and meditate.

It was a little weird, though... scratch that, really weird. She could go over everything from the start to the end in a few minutes, making sure it was all in the right order and she remembered what really happened. At times she would compare that to her memories from before she had 'Triggered'.

Those memories were dull and indistinct by comparison. Filled with a different Taylor. That should bother her, but she was more upset by not being... well, upset. She had changed irrevocably at the moment that a deity, albeit a dark and twisted one, took up residence in her head. While her overall priorities in life were similar, or so she believed at the very least, her personality approached them in a different way.

What she'd done with Panacea was a good example. The girl had been totally miserable and it was easy for her to feel why. So... she'd done a few things. Promised to help her out with her work load, for one. Tweaked her sister, for another. That hadn't needed to go too far, since Glory Girl did have a few experimental tendencies, but she also did care about her boyfriend.

Weirdly enough, Slaanesh had been oddly helpful with that one... no, don't get sidetracked now. From the beginning.

Deflecting Armsmaster's curiosity as to exactly _why_ she wanted to start a pseudo-religion was tricky, but not impossible. Making a 'please help' look at his 'date', hehehe, had resulted in her grabbing him for more drunken makeouts. Taylor was so, so glad that she'd added in the ability to get drunk. Among other things.

With the party over and ice broken she redacted the 'alterations' she'd made to the building, and dispensed with the sand, trees and open bar. The latter had caused the most sadness when it happened. Once Piggot had regained consciousness she had suggested Taylor might like to go downstairs and get her father out of his holding cell.

She hadn't managed to finish the suggestion before they got to see, really see, one of Taylor's portals firsthand. Nobody had actually paid attention to them during the It was like a curtain of black fire that burst into existence before them. The middle cleared, opening up into the security station of the holding area, while the edges continued to burn. Then she was through, and it burnt itself up behind her.

Finding her dad was easy, since she could see through his eyes and feel his location in her head. That would be handy, going forward. Then she just sort of walked up to the cell and willed the door to open. His reaction was... unexpected, to say the least. He looked up at her, eyes widening suddenly as she bore down on him for a hug.

"Annette?" That brought her up cold for a moment as he blinked and she looked down. From her perspective... she was still a slightly taller, slightly better version of herself. But through her dad's eyes... huh. Okay. She wasn't unconsciously changing shapes as much as carrying some sort of idealization filter. So, to him, she looked a lot more like her mother than usual.

At least until he realized what was going on, at which point his vision cleared. Something to investigate later. For now, hug the father. There wasn't even a mocking comment from Slaanesh to worry about. Just a curious silence.

"C'mon, Dad. I think we're done here. Let's go home." A snap of her fingers, mostly for style purposes, brought up another flaming doorway. He looked nervous, to say the least, but she pulled him through it and they came out in the living room. "Okay, so, I need to lock myself in my room for, like, half an hour and do something power related and we can talk when I come back out, okay?"

He nodded, still a little dazed from the transfer. Another note, investigate effects of long-distance portals on people who aren't occupied by one of the Great Powers of the Warp. Now then... might as well walk upstairs, actually. No need to freak her dad out any more than she already had.

Thus it came to be that Taylor Hebert sat down in her room, locked the door, and flopped face-down on her bed in order to commune with the dark entity of Chaos living in her brain.

So.

_yes, pet?_

Ah... um... you're, ah, in my brainpain now?

_silly pet we **(us)** (you) (i) exist at a level that your puny mortal mind cannot comprehend_

Uh-huh. Which is why you're trapped in my head.

_no mere mortal being could hope to trap the might and glory of **slaanesh**!_

Sure. So, why can't you do anything on your own?

_uh... we totally could... we just don't feel like it right now_

Right. Is there any way at all you can affect the outside world, or can I just ignore you forever?

_..._

_we can reduce and contain the **Warp** energy that we are emitting_

Oh. Shit.

_indeed you must take heed of us for we can deny you the needed energy to use your (our) **(my)** powers_

Well, what is it that you want, then?

_you are our pleasure you are our pai-_

Yeah, I've head that bit already. The rhyming is okay but the meter sucked. What do you really WANT, though?

_we... desire_

Desire what?

_everything is desired infinity excess indulgence perfection pleasure suffering joy all of it_

And then what?

_we do... we do not understand the question_

Say I cut loose. Let you do what you want. You mindfuck the world into being exactly how you want it. And then?

_then we have achieved our goal_

Right. Okay. Different tack. If you do that, you will spend the rest of eternity bored out of your mind.

_but we will have all that is desired_

Kind of the point there. Just... watch for a little while, okay? Let me try a few things.

_we see no value in allowing this_

You're an immortal, alien presence stuck in the mind of a fifteen year old, right? Or I'm really crazy...

_the answer to your question is 'yes'_

Smartass. The point is, you can only gain from letting me try. There must be more to you than... that.

_we are infinite and unkno-_

Yes, yes. Look, do we have a deal or should I just go and become a nun?

_... slaanesh accepts your offer for the time being..._

Taylor's eyes snapped open as she accidentally rolled off her bed. That had been trippy. It was obvious that she was an abnormal Trigger, in some fashion, since she was fairly sure that normal Parahumans didn't get alien deities to go with their powers. Although maybe they did and nobody liked to talk about it?

Then again, she could feel the Warp Energy that Slaanesh was leaking into the world. It showed up in her expanded senses, like a massive, tumultuous, violet pool. There was a trail of it, swirling in the air, all the way from the school to the PRT HQ in town where a large mass of it had formed.

But she was the only source. That was the key. There were no other pools of Warp anywhere in the world. Slaanesh had noticed that, as well, which might be why he was so cooperative right now. Hrrgh, this just didn't sit right with her. All of this introspection crap. Time to do something productive. Ooh, a muffin. Taylor snatched the muffin as she considered what to do.

She had the 'memories' of Slaanesh as well; past, present and 'future'. It remembered the future. That was... messed up. But the future it remembered was for somewhere else. A darker, vaster place filled with tumult and war. No thanks. Part of what it had, however, was something she'd mentioned to the PRT. Technology.

Taylor Hebert grinned a grin that was far too wide for her face, and began to _sing._

* * *

><p>First, Danny heard the music. It was coming from his daughter's room. Part of him wanted to investigate, but another part was staring at his watch and realized she still had twenty minutes; at least. Obviously she was just... experimenting, a little. But, eventually, curiosity overcame him. He had to know. So he went upstairs and knocked on her door.<p>

The singing stopped. When the door opened, Taylor looked a little guilty.

"Heeeeeey... Dad... um... sorry. Kinda forgot... y'know... um... why don't you... come in, I guess." She opened the door. That... was not her room. Too big, for one thing. Also, there was the large... white... mass to one side of the room. Uh... Okay then. Apart from that, though, it did have the necessary components to be Taylor's room. "Uh... yeah... turns out I can violate space and time, _shut up you_, not you dad, so I made my room bigger. So I could fit in that. Um. It's called Wraithbone. I made it. 's more like a... plas... tic."

Taylor stared at her father's blank face for a few seconds, and then stopped talking. Instead she sat on the bed. He sat beside her, staring awkwardly at the wall.

"So." He began.

"So?" She echoed.

"You're a Parahuman." Taylor winced a little at his tone.

"Yeah. I mean, I guess so. Some of my stuff is... a bit weird. Apparently I might be the strongest one around, next to Scion." Danny turned to stare at his daughter for a moment, a sober expression on his face. That was a hell of a thing to say. Who knows what the first hero might think about that?

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, a glowing golden man stared at a hobo who was currently arguing with a florist.<p>

"Lookit, he's Scion, ain't he? He doesn't have _money_. And I'm a homeless old motherfucker with only some rags and a dog to his name." Behind him, Scion pointed again. "Yes, I _know_ you want those ones, and I'm trying to get them for you. God, I didn't think you were actually listening when I was rambling on about courting. Never listen to me the rest of the bloody time."

Kevin Norton turned back to the florist, who was halfway between abject terror and small-business-owner indignation that someone was daring to try and get something from her for free.

"I don't know if he's really Scion or not, but I can't just give away merchandise." Once more, the greatest hero of all the world pointed at the flowers. Somewhat predictably, they were yellow.

"Yes, I _know_, stop pointing. Look. He appeared in a flash of golden light, he's wearing the suit, he is _floating in mid-air_ _in front of you_, it's him. And he wants flowers. For a lady, I think. Or possibly a man, I don't know. Just... just give him the damn flowers." The florist frowned and Kevin Norton sighed as, once more, the golden dumbass pointed at the flowers. This might take a while.

* * *

><p>Oh well. It wasn't like he'd actually pay attention to something happening in this part of the world. Which reminded him...<p>

"You were on TV. A youtube video of you coming out of the... locker." She paled, quite visibly, at that. Good. It was about as big a deal as possible. "They've been issuing cease and desist notices, they told me, because you're underage. As well as trying to track down the cul-" Taylor vanished in a flash of black flame.

* * *

><p>"Heeeeeey, Greg! You wouldn't mind having a quick chat about a video of me getting uploaded to YouTube from your phone, right?"<p>

"Ohshi-"

* * *

><p>"-prit? Taylor?" He turned, frowning suddenly. She took a few minutes to return, bright red. In her absence he'd taken to poking the mass of, what had she called it, Wraithbone. Her arrival caused him to quickly return to sitting on the bed, looking like a child who'd been caught with a cookie.<p>

"... I took care of it. He'll, um, delete the video."

"You know who it was?"

"I... had a suspicion. He confirmed it after I dangled him over the edge of the Grand Canyon."

"... ah. I see." The awkward silence returned as Danny digested that information. Okay. She'd obviously been... quite badly bullied. Which might have had some effects on her mental stability.

"I wouldn't have actually dropped him." He nodded, not quite trusting himself to say anything at that moment. Then, with a sigh, he leaned over and hugged his daughter.

"I know I can't understand what you're going through. Just... promise me you'll use these powers for the right reason." There was silence, and then a loud sniff. She was crying as she hugged him back.

"I'll try my best."

* * *

><p>Danny had gone downstairs to cook... uh... lunch, by the looks of the sun. She'd told him that the PRT, and a lot of places for that matter, would be willing to pay crazy amounts of money for her Wraithbone. So she could help support the family. He'd just smiled and ruffled her hair like he always used to when she was much, much smaller and said that money had never been the most important thing to him.<p>

Slaanesh was a little confused by that. He _(she) (they) _couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to keep performing a position of menial labour. It wasn't hard for her to see that he could be made to understand, based on his portfolio, but his corruption was far too... severe. Baby steps. Remind him _(her) (them) _what they stood for. One bit at a time.

Having transmutation abilities was certainly helping with this endeavour, at any rate. She'd swiped some of Dragon's memories in making that body for her, so she knew how to make a computer. Most of it was Wraithbone, a massive supercomputer that ran off psychic energy and... some other things. The rest, the internals, were mundane circuitry.

Eldar tech was freaking awesome.

Why was she doing this again? Oh, right. Something productive. Having a computer was productive. Especially when she could interface with it mentally so long as it was within her range. Plus she'd need it to administrate the Webway, as she built it. That was an idea she'd quickly pitched to Piggot. Explaining that she could make a set of portals capable of transferring people over entire continents had made the PRT Director literally squee with delight.

That memory had been downloaded into the living memory banks of her new Eldar supercomputer. For posterity.

Oh! Right. She had made a promise, earlier. To go have words with an... old friend. Hehehe. The computer was booting itself up, and installing the operating system code she'd 'borrowed', again from Dragon, so she was free to take a break. Just tear open a hole in space and fwoosh. Hehehe. Fwoosh.

Taylor found herself coming out at the Barnes residence. There was Alan, and he had some tasty thoughts. Emma was upstairs. Mother wasn't home. Oh, but someone was. A crossbow bolt froze in mid-air a foot away from her head as she turned to face the figure behind her.

"Hello, little baby vulture~ I'm here to get back my pet from you! I hope you don't mind, you don't do you? Good." Then she turned on her heel and headed for the door. Another bolt went the way of the first and Taylor just had to sigh, reaching out to stop it and finding, with a start, that there was no substance to it. It returned to corporeality inside of her head.

Slowly, very slowly, Taylor turned back to face Sophia. There was the point sticking out of her eye socket. She reached up, staring with her remaining eye at the black girl's horrified expression, and pulled it out. The flesh began to weave itself back together.

"What... what the fuck are you, Hebert?"

Taylor shook her head and waggled a finger at the Ward in front of her.

"Tut tut, Sophie~ That was naughty. Now I'm going to have to pun~ish~ you~!"

* * *

><p>"Heeeeeeey, Emmy~"<p>

Emma Barnes screamed. This caused her dad to come running up the stairs, highly illegal shotgun in hand, and kick down the door. His daughter's old school friend turned psychotic Parahuman was attacking Emma on the bed. He raised the shotgun, only for the barrel to suddenly bend upwards as Taylor reached out with one hand and made a twisting motion.

Meanwhile, Emma writhed in place as she giggled with pai-wait, giggled?

"taylor stoppit damnit you know i'm ticklish gnaaaaaaaa!" Alan stared in shock as the girl who he had assumed, mistakenly, to be assaulting his daughter continued to tickle her one-handed.

"Nu-uh. This is my payback for not coming to see me about your problems, Ems. Y'know I woulda been there for you." A wave of hand from Taylor shooed Alan out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Finally, the tickling stopped and Emma could catch her breath.

"... y-yeah... I know. So... you don't hate me? For... what I did to you?" Taylor shook her head.

"Nah. I blame the baby vulture for that, and we've had... words."

* * *

><p>"Now remember, the tentacles can smell fear, so if you don't move you'll be totally fine! I'll be back to collect you in an hour or so~ Ta-ta!"<p>

* * *

><p>"Yup. Calm and civil <em>words<em>." Something about that made Emma flinch for some reason. Hm. Oh well! "Point being, Ems, y'don't need to pick on the weak to be strong. Actually, kinda makes you the opposite. Where's the sport or glory in hurting someone who won't fight back? If you want to reclaim your life, to be strong, I'll help you with that. My way. Then we can be friends again, too."

"... yeah, I'd... like that. A lot." Taylor smiled. Then she ate a cookie.

All according to plan. Wait, where did the cookie come from? Oh well. She had a cookie.

"Cookie?"

"Ooh, sure."

* * *

><p>Next step, remove cake from oven. Now it was telling her how to create icing! Contessa sighed. Some time yesterday, Path to Victory had gone completely freaking bonkers. Apparently the most valuable course of action right now was earning the goodwill of this one girl, which would eventually serve to satisfy almost every Path she tried to find. Which seemed to involve using the Path to Victory to make the most truly perfect baked goods! Followed by combining Mantellum and Doormaker to drop them off around the girl, sight unseen.<p>

And she actually ate them! All of them! Without questioning where they'd come from! Wasn't she worried they were poisonous? No... of course she wasn't.

"Here I am, strongest Thinker on the planet, and they want me to bake..."


	4. I Like Trains

Don't like trains?

* * *

><p><strong>I Like Trains<strong>

* * *

><p>It was at times like this one that Taylor experienced a mild moral quandary. Or three. Slaanesh's powers were, well, really frigging useful. The only downside was that the entity in question came with them. She, or possibly he, had a nasty habit of constantly trying to push for them to do more. It planted visions in her head of massive worlds sheathed in shining white material-<p>

_-wraithbone-_

-and gleaming buildings that rose to the heavens all around. These rather seductive images of an uplifted population, Slaanesh having apparently realized that their preferred approach wasn't very effective on a girl who still considered herself to be fifteen, always had just a little bit of grime. Some tiny little potentially objectionable thing they tried to push through their moral censors. Well, Taylor's moral censors.

She'd tried to explain the concept of a conscience to her passenger and felt the first hint of genuine amusement from it that she'd had to date. That had been fairly embarrassing. As had her first attempt at using a portal over a longer-distance. Slaanesh had 'neglected' to show her how to properly orient the exit. The result was coming out at the other end, in Houston, upside-down, and then faceplanting in the dirt to the amusement of her passenger.

It was made up for by the muffins. As well as the cupcakes. Oh, and the cake. In fact, every time Taylor felt hungry she needn't only to turn around and there was some form of confectionery. It was quite nice, having a secret and apparently super-powered admirer. She had wondered who it was...

* * *

><p>"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF CINNAMON? DOOR TO A SUPERMARKET, RIGHT NOW! AND SOMEONE GET ME SOME MORE GODDAMN COOKIE DOUGH!"<p>

* * *

><p>... but Slaanesh had only laughed and refused to help. Oh well. They were really quite tasty. Even if the people sitting on the other side of the conference room were looking at her a bit funny. Especially that fellow, whazisname, Glenn. He was hyperventilating a little, actually.<p>

She didn't look that bad, did she? There was the mask, with the little horns that she thought was cute. Her hair had been lengthened, she'd asked Amy to help out with that, and then they'd braided each others. Although Taylor's had ended up a bit more like dreadlocks.

Come to think of it, Clockblocker had called them 'hairtacles'. Only the once, though. For some reason he hadn't appreciated her animating them and waving them around. In any case, it probably wasn't that. Her outfit was leather, sure, but it wasn't particularly kinky or anything... Plus she had, like, a cape. Capes were important.

Ooh, right, she should probably focus on the meeting. It was kinda important. Not every day you got to meet with the entire Triumvirate! Besides, she'd gotten Legend to show off pictures of his baby and she really ought to pay attention to that. Ooh, they were just so cute~ And he looked so handsome with his husband there. Good for him!

"D'aww, she's just so adorable! How old is she?" A muscle in Alexandria's face twitched, almost imperceptibly.

"Seven months. She's already crawling, and she's a cheeky little rascal~" Underneath his face-shrouding mask, Eidolon was doing his absolute best not to snicker.

"D'awwwww~" At that point, Taylor's squee was high pitched enough to make dogs bark. Alexandria twitched again, before stepping forward and smiling. Her hand rapped on the table to catch the interest of the duo, who turned to look at her with guilt written on their faces.

"Miis Hebe-" She was cut off quite suddenly.

"Slaanesh." Blank stares. "... cape name? Slaanesh? I did tell Miss Piggot that." Almost said 'Mrs' there, heh. No need to rush, Taylor, Robin still hadn't asked her out on a second date yet. Eee~ Oh, right, Alexandria was grumpy again.

"... right. Slaanesh. We're here because you've made an awfully large number of claims regarding the strength of your powers that we feel are important to verify." She nodded as one of the most famous heroes in the world looked at her papers with a frown. "It says here you claim to qualify for... I don't believe this... Tinker Ten, Thinker Ten, and Trump..."

There was a moment of silence as she stared at the paper. "... Trump 'Fuck You'. Who wrote this? Seriously." So grumpy. She should do something about that. Like fix her eye. And maybe fix her up! Not with Eidolon, though. That'd just be weird. And, hey, her last four attempts at matchmaking had gone great!

First there was Amy, Vicky and Dean. That was working out fine for them. Then there had been Colin and Dragon, so cute! Oh, Emily and Robin went weirdly well together. Plus, her Pièce de Résistance~

Danny sighed, wondering why exactly he was going through with this. Oh, right. Taylor had made a face and said... something and he'd caved in seconds. Damnit. He just knew, absolutely knew, this was going to end horribly. She meant well, certainly, but he just wasn't exactly sure on her ability to pick out romantic pa-

"Ah... Hello? Daniel Hebert?" A nervous looking woman with dark skin, and darker hair, was standing beside his table and looking at him. His breath caught in his chest.

"Um... y-yes. That's me. Call me Danny." He parroted the last bit on reflex. She smiled, and he thought his heart might stop. It was like he was back in high school.

"I think I shall, Danny. My name is Hannah. Taylor's told me a lot about you."

Heh. Nailed it. And so had her father, ooh-rah. Hrrgh. Damnit, Slaanesh, stop that!

_never_

Fine, whatever. Point being; get Alexandria a boyfriend, pronto. Or girlfriend, either was fine. Oh, right! Talking. She was mean to do that.

"And Mover... Eight. That should be on there too. Instantaneous portal making across the entire planet. I can vary from about a one to a minimum of six in basically every other field, depending on how I apply my trump abilities. Can only sustain three extra powers at once, though." At least the ones that required a constant flow of psychic power to work, that is.

In reality, she could work with quite a lot more than that. But no need to worry them just yet. Alexandria looked predictably sceptical, however.

"Alright then. In which case, I'd like you to open a portal for us. Say, to the Sahara?" Taylor nodded and snapped her fingers. The black flames surged into existence to their side, bright light flooding into the room along with wind and a bit of sand. Eidolon didn't look surprised at all, but he didn't have a face.

Alexandria, though, had one mean poker face. Note to self, do not play poker with Triumvirate. She could only beat Legend, and that was just mean. He was nice. Still, the three most powerful capes stepped through. After some deliberation, she followed. The odd fat fellow, whasisname, that guy, tried to follow but was barred by Eidolon.

"See? Now we're thinking with Portals!" Her new supercomputer, with the help of Dragon, had pirated the majority of Aleph and Bet's video games and similar media over the last week. The woman had been so grateful for Taylor's help that she'd been willing to do anything. All she'd done was build her a meatspace body with an electronic brain that could interface with any of her tech over extremely long distances with no latency. It hadn't been that hard.

Rewriting the code was the more difficult bit, even if Slaanesh claimed that someone called Tzeentch literally farted more complex algorithms than that.

_he does_

The first thing Dragon had done, once Colin finally let go of her, and vice versa, was track down Saint and the Dragonslayers, pop the hood of her suit and flip him off. She'd taken pictures of his face, too. Framed them, even. Taylor had a few copies. Classic stuff.

"Alright. I'll start us off, then." Alexandria cracked her knuckles and rose into the air as Taylor stared at her. Uh.. wait, what? Legend flashed back about a hundred meters in a bolt of light, and Eidolon followed him. He was using some telekinetic type power to control a bunch of cameras for the fat fellow.

"Wait, what? You want to fight me? Preeeetty sure I didn't agree to this." The hero in front of her shook her head as she began to circle.

"You've basically claimed to be the most powerful Parahuman on the planet. Time to prove it, 'Slaanesh'." And then it started.

* * *

><p>Alexandria was not sure what had actually happened in those first few moments until she went back and reviewed the footage of the sparring sessions in depth. What she saw dumbfounded and aggravated her. The girl, Taylor, had faced her initial rush quite calmly; only to move forward at the last second. In doing so she put her hand on Alexandria's shoulder and chest, avoiding the punch that had been levelled at her.<p>

Then she'd turned all of the hero's momentum into a throw that slung her into the sand with enough force to dig a fifty foot long tunnel as well as bury her completely. She'd burst free just in time to hear Taylor say something about precognition. Fuck.

Rushes wouldn't work, then. Argh. Alexandria was not used to fighting things that could do that. Her two areas of expertise were effortlessly curbstomping villains, and going fist-to-fist with Endbringers. Hm. And then the girl had pulled some bone-white armour into existence around herself. Well then.

This time, Alexandria approached slowly and methodically. The girl didn't seem to be able to fly, so she had the manoeuvrability advantage. Just stay close in, no large movements. When she hit the ground it caused an explosion of sand and a ripple to pass out along the ground to the other two Triumvirate members.

The infight began then. It was like watching a boxing match between a Heavyweight Champion and a Featherweight Champion. The former was swinging hard enough to actually cause explosions behind her opponent from the moved air pressure, while the latter was sliding around every strike without making any attacks.

From the actual perspective of the Heavyweight half, however, it was more like trying to punch a leaf underwater. Her every movement caused Taylor to just shift away in a fashion which she couldn't follow. It was aggravating! Infuriating! And then... suddenly darkness.

A few moments later, she blinked back to focus. There was a splitting pain across her face, and Taylor, Eidolon and Legend were all standing over her. She was... staring at the sky? What the... what happened?

"Um... I'm sorry for breaking your nose. I didn't realize that would be so... effective." Her... nose? She'd taken a punch to the fast from Leviathan and not even gotten a scratch! What the fuck...

"Ish fine. Can you ficsh it?" The girl nodded, gently resting her hand on the hero's face. After a few moments the pain faded, and there was a loud crack. Then a sharp stab of pain again, in her eye socket. Alexandria blinked. Then blinked again. She closed one eye. Then the other.

"You... fixed my eye." She sat up, putting a hand over the new eye. Then moving it. Then putting it back. Then moving it. "I... never thought I'd have my full vision range again..." Suddenly her focus returned. "Okay. What happened just then? Last thing I knew I was swinging a left jab and then I was waking up on the floor."

Taylor turned bright, bright red and shifted her feet in the sand a bit.

"Um... I countered back. Set my feet and slammed you right in the face. While enhancing my strength. A lot." She turned her head to the others. Eidolon, she could tell, was grinning.

"You left a trench in the desert over a mile long and a hundred feet wide. They'll think Ash Beast came through here, or something." Oh. That... was pretty hard. The girl still looked embarrassed.

"The powers I use increase my strength... I thought it was additive, but apparently it's multiplicative. That and, um, I'm a lot stronger and tougher than I look because I can modify my body. Not as strong as you, or tough, but... probably a bit over peak human, despite my shape." That soaked in for a bit, before Eidolon stepped up and clapped the girl on the shoulder.

"Well! Guess that makes it my turn."

* * *

><p>Everyone was a little surprised when, this time, Taylor started flying. She'd had to put on a suit of bone-white armour first, and had gone on to explain it wasn't so much flying as telekinetically lifting her equipment. Apparently she couldn't move organic matter. He chalked that up to one of her, very few, Manton limitations.<p>

So he'd accepted a less manoeuvrable form of flight, a forcefield generating power and a ranged energy strike ability. His right hand was held firmly ahead of him where it projected a shield of distorted air. It was one he wished he could have kept for much later; freezing the particles of air it touched in time to create an impenetrable barrier.

Curving projectiles of force were fired from his left hand, weaving their way around his defence and heading towards her. The flight time was too slow, however, and she easily dodged them; initially. They didn't dissipate, however, moving to orbit him like planets as he increased the speed of their trajectories.

She didn't falter, moving ever forward between the blows. It reminded him of the Simurgh, in an eerie way, how she always just managed to be where an attack wasn't. Only even moreso, because the Endbringer would sometimes just go through if it suited her purposes. Taylor just let them weave around her.

He cast aside the offensive ability, feeling his fingertips start to crackle with power. Then, after a thought, he released the forcefield as well. His body hardened, becoming like marble under his costume, while a surge of electricity came forward from his fingertips. No good. She blocked it with a portal, let it crackle out behind him and strike him in the back.

He tossed the electrical ability, and moved in. Another one came. Terrakinesis. Briefly he considered trying again, but then he looked down. With an exaggerated motion he hauled several tons of sand out of the ground and swung it upwards in a widening wave of silicate.

She smashed through it, charging him. Something dropped into her hand and she slammed it right into his face. There wasn't any pain, just blindness as he pulled it off and wiped his mask clean. Apparently, it was a cream pie.

Approximately thirty seconds earlier, Contessa had desperately dropped into a supermarket, swiped an entire bottle of whipped cream along with some aluminium pie tins, tossed a handful of money at the cashier, and then suddenly vanished. She had no idea why the Path to Victory involved this, but so far her efforts had been working.

Eidolon shook his head, staring at the girl floating twenty feet in front of him.

"... could you please take this seriously, Taylor?" She grinned, and floated a little bit closer.

"Suuuuuure I could~ But hey, first I wanna tell ya a secret." There was a flicker, and she was gone. A voice whispered into his ear from behind.

"I like trains."

* * *

><p>On the ground, Legend and Alexandria watched as Taylor vanished with a surge of black fire. Then, a moment later, another portal opened. There was an almighty sound of rushing air and screeching metal. At which point a bullet train surged out of the portal, hit Eidolon, and continued downwards towards the surface. The girl in question was standing on top of it the whole way down, squealing with delight.<p>

"... Alexandria?"

"Yes, Legend?"

"Do... do you think she might be a supervillain?"

"I have no idea."

* * *

><p>Buried under many, many tons of empty bullet train and sand, Eidolon cast aside all his powers. He reached for more, found them, and then cast them aside again. There had to be something left for him to use, somewhere. Again, he discarded them. That was nine more gone. Part of him tried to call for caution.<p>

The rest of him didn't listen.

Then he found something. A different power. It was cold, and yet hot. Pleasant, and yet painful. It filled him up, buoyed him into the air, and brought strength with it. He flexed, reaching through this new conduit of strength and finding three things there that he could use. The ground above him surged and distorted, sand exploding into the air along with the train.

First power, he thought as he used it to lift himself up with a grin; gravity manipulation. She actually looked mildly worried, as he used it to compress sand into stone and fling it at her at high speed. For a while she dodged, but then quite suddenly she let one impact her and shatter into pebbles. Right.

Second power; temperature control. He held out his hands and the air exploded in a wave rolling towards Taylor. Pink fires boiled forth from her and impacted against his own flame, forming a coruscating inferno that surged upwards. It split off as their powers interacted, forming winding tendrils that, from a certain perspective, might look like a flower.

* * *

><p>Half a mile away, Scion floated in the air. He looked at the giant pink-and-red flower that was blossoming in the desert. Then his gaze slowly and deliberately turned to the bouquet of yellow roses in his right hand. After a few moments he turned his head back to the tremendous flower explosion. Then once more to his bouquet. Clearly he would need to try a different approach.<p>

Scion dropped the flowers and flashed off to find Kevin Norton.

* * *

><p>Taylor burst through the flames in front of him, but Eidolon was ready with his third power. He let loose, time warping in front of him. But she seemed to see it coming, and had already counteracted it. In a moment she was upon him, letting loose a flash of purple energy that caused a splitting pain through his head. Then he was down.<p>

The powers all left him, and she landed a moment later. Her armour was scorched black, and she had removed the helmet to look at him more closely.

"Do you know what you did?" He shook his head, and she frowned. "Good. I ought to tell you, though. Apparently you can tap into my... ability. Although you don't quite use it in the same way." His thoughts spun as he considered the implications. The power he'd had... it had been immense. She had access to that?

Alexandria and Legend had come over to see him. "He's fine, don't worry."

"That's not what I'm worried about!" Ah, his female compatriot was angry. That was kind of funny, right there. "Was that a bullet train? Where did you get a bullet train!" Taylor chuckled nervously.

"I, um, made it. Not sure 'bout the pie, though..." She stared at her feat as Alexandria slowly turned red, before visibly forcing herself to calm down.

"Okay. Alright. That's fine. But you can't do that sort of thing in a real fight. Messing around like that will get people hurt." Again, Taylor shifted in place and continued to stare at her feat.

"Um... well, actually, my power seems to work better when I'm doing silly stuff like that."

"... what."

* * *

><p>After a brief, pseudo-real explanation, she had found herself hovering in the air and preparing to face Legend. This time she'd used fleshsculpting for some wings, never mind that they oughtn't be able to produce enough lift or anything, so she could use her focus on something else.<p>

Alexandria had told her to go as silly as she liked on this one, just to see what she could do. So she was planning to. Just like she was planning to lose. She'd curbstomped the first member of the Triumvirate, and Eidolon had only started to give her a real fight when he'd started tapping into the Warp Energy she was pumping into the air. Slaanesh had been notably silent about that.

This, though? He had ideas. Many ideas. She'd chosen the goofiest one, to her, with the idea that she would give him a fight but still lose. Didn't want to threaten them too much. Yet. Still. Her hands flexed, and objects came into being. Still ostensibly Eldar-tech, since Slaanesh didn't have access to Imperial stuff as like he did with theirs, but it came close enough.

A pair of pauldrons with subwoofers in them. A backpack carried the superwoofers. More speakers adorned almost every inch of her, and she sprouted two extra arms to accomodate the V-neck guitar in her hand. Legend looked on, but said nothing as he prepared for the 'go' signal. Alexandria raised her hand.

_**"THIS QUIET OFFENDS SLAANESH! THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW"**_

As the hand fell, and Legend fired his pure bullshitonium laserbeams, she unleashed her wave of bullshitonium rock harmonics back at him. She was even playing actual music. Arguably. To some people. Not any of the other three there, but to some people.

The soundwaves caused the air to distort in impossible waves, causing Legend's beams to bend around her at the last second. They formed a cage of light for a moment before he had to dodge to one side to avoid the rippling soundwaves. She could feel their collective shock at the phenomenon before them.

He streaked low as a beam of light and she, futilely, fired after him. Just for demonstration purposes, really. The area distortion covered her within a good sixty foot radius, while the directed sound had a range of several hundred yards.

Her pulse hit the sand and compressed it, agitated it, then fused it. She'd turned the sand into glass. Alexandria had gone from frustrated to pensive as he looked at it, considering the tactical applications. Reading their minds had, perhaps, been a little intrusive...

She was glad she did, though.

Either way, Legend seemed to have figured out a strategy. He was surging rapidly from one side to another, taking advantage of the fact that he could move between locations at the speed of light and fire off a full barrage while she was still turning around. Of course, he was still missing.

Up until a laser took her in the back and caused her makeshift Noise Marine armour to explode.

Of course, Taylor had seen that coming. She still had her precognition running. Unbeknownst to them, she could have diverted the attack. He'd had a good idea, though; since she was bending the lasers away from her, he'd aimed around her in the hopes that it would divert them into her.

It might have worked for real, had she not had more precise control than they'd thought. Sound couldn't divert lasers. Psh. But invisible psychic shields could cause them to refract around her. She hit the ground and rolled, reinforcing her bones against the impact. He was beside her in a flash, both pointing a glowing hand at her head and offering one to help her up.

"Heh... guess you win. I thought I'd totally trumped you for a second there, but I couldn't get a single hit in with it. Can't really match the speed of light." That caused him to grin. The feeling of one-upping his fellow Triumvirate members was... somewhat important to him. She could feel it. It's why she'd let him be the one to beat her.

Of course, they'd been holding back. She knew that as well, and let it go. In fact, she knew a lot more than they thought. It hadn't taken much to convince Emily that she could only 'gift' memories, not take them. Which was quite untrue.

Cauldron... would have to be dealt with. But that could come later.

* * *

><p>Further pleasantries were exchanged, and her official rating was set at Trump Ten, because she had a lot of variety but limited amounts of powers at once, along with Thinker Eight, for her extrasensory perception, Mover Eight, because unlike, say, Strider she was capable of only moving small groups of people, and finally Brute Five for her baseline physical durability.<p>

The Tinker rating would be assessed at a later date. Her lack of desire to join the Wards, or Protectorate, was briefly a discussion that was dealt with when she explained that she intended to still join in with, say, Endbringer battles. Eventually she was dismissed, the footage was given to the fat fellow so he could plan a PR Campaign for the unofficial fourth member of the Triumvirate, and she could go home.

For their part, the two Cauldron members were left satisfied that, while dangerous, she was less of a threat than Scion. That thought of theirs rather amused her.

So. She had new goals.

_none of these issues matter, they are no threat to you (me) **(us)**_

Scion is, she thought. We're not nearly strong enough to deal with him, as much as you'd like to think so. He can move between realities, according to them. We can't.

_once enough warp energy has flooded this world, we will be able to do anything_

That, however, would take time. She wasn't willing to create an Eye of Terror here. Although... if she could manipulate Wraithbone to conduct Warp Energies... Hm. Alright. First order of business, the Webway. If she kept a link on herself, then Slaanesh's leaking power could flow into it and disperse anywhere there was a gate.

_we highly support this endeavour_

Cauldron was lower priority. Best to start small. Clean up the Bay. Then start working on some of the bigger global threats. China would have to be dealt with, eventually. See how she went in the next Endbringer fight. According to the schedule it ought to be Leviathan, and she was pretty sure that one of her powers could just trump anything he could do.

It was frustrating, really. She had this ridiculously overpowered ability that could block all physical damage effortlessly, but could be thwarted by any idiot with a lighter and a can of hairspray. She could fling trucks around with her mind, but couldn't fly without creating weird wings... speaking of which, best clean those up.

Plus, she had to deal with Slaanesh in her head, and the mental effects that he was having on her! First order of business, then, was to find something to ground her. And then, ooh banana-chocolate-chip-muffin, she'd move on to crime fighting.

In the meantime... she had an idea for how to control her passenger.

_as if any blandishment or enticement you could offer to us would function foolish mortal we are-_

Oh, shush. It was time to boot up the world wide interwebs and introduce the Prince of Pleasure to a little thing she liked to call... /b/.

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, Kevin Norton found himself in Japan. This was an unexpected situation for him. The big golden lug had never actually taken him anywhere before. Worse still, he kept gesturing at the goddamn train!<p>

"Listen, I don't know what the fuck you expect me to do about this! The florist was one thing, but I can't get them to give you an entire TRAIN! I don't even speak their language."

Scion said nothing, as usual, and pointed insistently while the residents of Tokyo took pictures on their cellphones and the station manager tried to find a member of staff that could communicate with the dirty smelly man who seemed to be talking to the mighty Kami.

Kevin Norton sighed. The shiny dumbass hadn't brought Duke with them, either.


End file.
